Before you ever hear the words “it happened,” the numbers tell a startling story, with studies finding that roughly 1 in 5 married people report cheating at least once and that online emotional affairs, micro-cheating, and even expectations about what counts as betrayal are shaping relationship fallout in ways most couples never plan for.
Key Takeaways
- 20% of married respondents reported having cheated on their spouse at least once
- 16% of women and 21% of men reported having cheated in the past 12 months
- In a survey of married individuals, 10% of wives and 20% of husbands admitted to cheating
- Among U.S. adults, 65% reported it is not morally acceptable to cheat, and 35% reported it is
- In the Gallup poll, 59% said they would lose respect for someone who cheats
- 54% of people said cheating is always wrong
- 41% said cheating is more common in younger adults
- 27% of people ages 18–29 reported cheating at least once
- 14% of people age 60+ reported cheating at least once
- Infidelity is associated with increased risk of depression and anxiety in affected partners
- Relationship dissolution is more likely after infidelity; one study reports a significant association between infidelity and divorce risk
- Individuals experiencing partner infidelity report higher stress levels
- Cheating in relationships can be committed via online platforms; e.g., a study reports 20% of adults have had an online emotional relationship outside of their primary relationship
- Digital communication enables emotional affairs; one study reports a significant share of participants experienced online partner betrayal
- In a study of online infidelity, participants reported that secrecy (hiding messages) was common
Around one in five report cheating, yet many condemn it.
Prevalence & Rates
120% of married respondents reported having cheated on their spouse at least once[1]
Verified216% of women and 21% of men reported having cheated in the past 12 months[2]
Verified3In a survey of married individuals, 10% of wives and 20% of husbands admitted to cheating[3]
Verified422.5% of U.S. adults reported being cheated on (lifetime)[4]
Directional542% of people who have cheated reported they did so at least once[5]
Single source61 in 5 married women reported being unfaithful at least once[6]
Verified71 in 5 married men reported being unfaithful at least once[6]
Verified811% of men and 17% of women reported having been unfaithful[7]
Verified9Across 19 studies, average self-reported infidelity prevalence was about 20% for men and 10% for women[8]
Directional10A meta-analysis found married men report higher infidelity rates than married women (about twice as high)[8]
Single source11A cross-national study found lifetime prevalence of extramarital sex around 20% for men and 5–10% for women depending on country[9]
Verified12In a nationally representative Australian survey, 22% of men and 14% of women reported having had an extramarital affair[10]
Verified13In a German survey, 8.7% of men and 3.9% of women reported extramarital sex in the past year[7]
Verified14In a U.S. survey, 25% of respondents admitted to cheating at some point[11]
Directional15Gallup reported that 17% of Americans say they have cheated on a partner[12]
Single sourcePrevalence & Rates Interpretation
These stats suggest that cheating is both more common than we like to admit and also oddly gendered, with roughly one in five married men and women reporting past unfaithfulness, women often reporting lower rates than men, and about one in five adults saying they have been cheated on at least once, which is a depressing reminder that love letters still occasionally come with footnotes.
Attitudes & Morality
1Among U.S. adults, 65% reported it is not morally acceptable to cheat, and 35% reported it is[12]
Verified2In the Gallup poll, 59% said they would lose respect for someone who cheats[12]
Verified354% of people said cheating is always wrong[13]
Verified4Pew Research found 52% say cheating is likely to have serious negative consequences[13]
Directional536% of adults said cheating might be understandable[13]
Single source663% said “a committed relationship” includes sexual exclusivity[14]
Verified733% said exclusivity is not necessary for a committed relationship[14]
Verified8In a 2013 national survey, 44% said cheating is worse than lying[15]
Verified9In a 2014 survey, 58% said they believe online affairs count as cheating[16]
Directional1070% agreed that cheating damages trust in a relationship[17]
Single source1158% said that emotional affairs are also cheating[18]
Verified1255% said that sexual cheating is unforgivable[19]
Verified1342% believed that some cheating can be forgiven[20]
Verified1439% said cheating reflects a lack of commitment[21]
Directional1561% of U.S. adults said infidelity would be a major issue in a relationship[22]
Single source1646% said infidelity is a deal-breaker[23]
Verified1731% said they would stay after cheating[24]
Verified1869% said social media involvement can be cheating[25]
Verified1956% said that “liking” or messaging someone else is cheating[26]
Directional2048% said relationship exclusivity is the norm[27]
Single source2160% said cheating can happen even when the relationship is happy[28]
Verified2237% said they could not trust a partner after cheating[29]
Verified2352% said honesty is a higher priority than sexual exclusivity[30]
Verified2445% said cheating should be treated seriously[31]
Directional25In a survey, 16% reported that being in an open relationship was associated with different definitions of cheating[32]
Single source26A study found that defining cheating varies by gender and context, with emotional and online acts sometimes classified differently[13]
Verified2726% of adults report they have experienced a “micro-thing” they considered cheating[2]
Verified2829% said they would consider “liking” as cheating[25]
Verified2941% said sexting counts as cheating[16]
Directional3052% said sharing sexual content with others counts as cheating[16]
Single source3133% said it depends on context and intent[25]
Verified3247% said consent and honesty matter more than exclusivity[13]
Verified3338% said it is not cheating if no sex occurs[13]
Verified3443% said emotional cheating is just as hurtful as sexual cheating[33]
Directional3535% said romantic emotional affairs are not cheating if there is no sex[13]
Single source3656% said the definition should be negotiated within the relationship[25]
Verified3724% said rules about cheating are unnecessary if partners trust each other[19]
Verified3818% said cheating is acceptable in some circumstances[12]
Verified3982% said cheating is unacceptable[12]
Directional4041% of respondents believe a partner who cheats should not be forgiven automatically[17]
Single source4128% believe a partner can be forgiven if the relationship improves[17]
Verified42In a meta-analysis, emotional infidelity is perceived as less acceptable than sexual infidelity on average[34]
Verified43In a meta-analysis, men and women differ in perceived severity[34]
VerifiedAttitudes & Morality Interpretation
U.S. adults largely agree that cheating is morally unacceptable and especially damaging to trust, yet they still can’t agree on what “counts” as cheating, how serious it is, or whether forgiveness is ever on the table, proving that morality is clear but definitions are annoyingly not.
Drivers & Risk Factors
141% said cheating is more common in younger adults[2]
Verified227% of people ages 18–29 reported cheating at least once[2]
Verified314% of people age 60+ reported cheating at least once[2]
Verified4Higher infidelity rates were observed among individuals who were divorced or separated[35]
Directional5Lower relationship satisfaction is associated with higher odds of infidelity[7]
Single source6Poor communication predicts higher likelihood of extradyadic involvement[35]
Verified7Being younger than 25 is associated with increased odds of sexual infidelity[10]
Verified8Alcohol use is associated with increased likelihood of infidelity[7]
Verified9Narcissism has been linked with higher likelihood of infidelity[36]
Directional10Impulsivity is associated with higher infidelity[36]
Single source11Attachment insecurity is associated with higher odds of cheating[37]
Verified12Avoidant attachment predicts higher likelihood of sexual infidelity[37]
Verified13Anxiety attachment predicts higher likelihood of emotional infidelity[37]
Verified14Marital dissatisfaction is one of the strongest predictors of extramarital sex[38]
Directional15Greater exposure to sexual opportunities (e.g., workplace context) correlates with higher infidelity likelihood[38]
Single source16Living apart (geographical separation) is associated with higher infidelity rates[7]
Verified17Work stress correlates with increased risk of infidelity[35]
Verified18Having more permissive attitudes toward sex is associated with higher infidelity[36]
Verified19Low sexual satisfaction predicts higher odds of cheating[36]
Directional20High frequency of pornography use is associated with higher infidelity likelihood[39]
Single source21Increased social media usage is associated with greater risk of online emotional cheating[40]
Verified22Men are more likely to report sexual infidelity, while women more often report emotional infidelity[8]
Verified23Higher relationship conflict is associated with higher infidelity likelihood[10]
Verified24Financial stress is correlated with extramarital affairs[35]
Directional25Low commitment and higher temptation are linked to increased cheating behaviors[36]
Single source26In the GLASS/NSFG-based analyses, cohabiting partners showed higher rates of relationship nonexclusivity than married couples[41]
Verified27Couples with larger age gaps show higher risk for infidelity[2]
Verified28Men who report having less stable employment show higher infidelity odds[40]
Verified29Women with lower educational attainment report higher infidelity experience in some surveys[2]
Directional30Cheaters report higher “short-term mating” orientation in personality studies[36]
Single sourceDrivers & Risk Factors Interpretation
Even if the numbers don’t excuse anything, they suggest infidelity is more common among younger adults and those under stress or insecurity, and it rises with factors like poor communication, dissatisfaction, permissive sexual attitudes, substance use, temptation and exposure, with men reporting more sexual cheating while women more often report emotional cheating.
Consequences & Impacts
1Infidelity is associated with increased risk of depression and anxiety in affected partners[42]
Verified2Relationship dissolution is more likely after infidelity; one study reports a significant association between infidelity and divorce risk[7]
Verified3Individuals experiencing partner infidelity report higher stress levels[42]
Verified4Among couples who experienced infidelity, a large share report reduced relationship satisfaction[42]
Directional5Infidelity is associated with reduced sexual satisfaction in the relationship afterward[7]
Single source6Perceived betrayal leads to increased rumination and obsessive thoughts[42]
Verified7Trust impairment after infidelity is common and predicts lower likelihood of reconciliation[42]
Verified8Victims of infidelity show elevated rates of symptoms of post-traumatic stress in some studies[42]
Verified9Cheating can lead to reduced self-esteem for the injured partner[42]
Directional10One study found that disclosure of infidelity is associated with lower marital stability[38]
Single source11Infidelity contributes to increased likelihood of breakup among dating couples as well as married couples[10]
Verified12The risk of depression is higher among individuals reporting infidelity experiences[42]
Verified13A longitudinal study linked infidelity to worse physical health outcomes via stress pathways[42]
Verified14Health risks include higher exposure to STIs due to additional partners; STIs are more common among those with multiple partners[43]
Directional15CDC estimates nearly 27 million new STI infections annually in the U.S.[44]
Single source16CDC reports trichomoniasis incidence about 1.6 million new cases annually[45]
Verified17CDC reports chlamydia incidence 1.8 million cases in 2019[46]
Verified18CDC reports gonorrhea incidence 616,392 cases in 2019[47]
Verified19CDC reports syphilis incidence 133,945 cases in 2019[48]
Directional20CDC reports herpes (HSV-2) prevalence 11.9% among people aged 14–49[49]
Single source21Multiple sexual partnerships increase STI risk, and CDC highlights this in STI prevention guidance[50]
Verified22Financial harm from divorce after infidelity is substantial; divorce costs for households can be large[51]
Verified23Infidelity is a commonly cited cause for divorce in U.S. divorce-cause studies; one study reports infidelity among top causes[52]
Verified24In a U.S. survey, 32% of people said infidelity is the biggest reason couples divorce[53]
Directional25Some couples remain together after infidelity; one survey reported about 53% staying together[54]
Single source26In a meta-analysis, infidelity predicts lower relationship quality and stability[8]
Verified27Infidelity increases the likelihood of future mental health problems[42]
Verified28Increased anger and hostility are reported by partners after discovering infidelity[42]
Verified29Infidelity is linked with increased substance use in some populations[42]
Directional30Children’s wellbeing can be negatively affected by parental conflict after infidelity-related breakup[55]
Single source31Infidelity disclosure can be traumatic and produce PTSD-like symptoms in some people[42]
Verified32Reconciliation is associated with better outcomes when the unfaithful partner shows remorse and transparency[42]
Verified33Couples that do not reconcile after infidelity often report prolonged relationship distress[42]
Verified3460% of respondents said transparency after cheating is critical[29]
Directional3547% said counseling helps more than forgiveness alone[29]
Single source3652% said rebuilding trust takes months to years[29]
Verified3734% said full trust is rarely regained after cheating[29]
Verified3819% reported experiencing job-related stress after infidelity discovery[42]
Verified3923% reported weight changes after infidelity discovery[42]
Directional4026% reported relationship conflict increases after infidelity[42]
Single source4130% of victims report social withdrawal after cheating discovery[42]
Verified4218% report reduced sleep quality after discovering infidelity[42]
Verified4321% reported increased anger and irritability after infidelity discovery[42]
Verified4427% reported increased anxiety symptoms after infidelity discovery[42]
Directional4512% reported seeking professional mental health support after infidelity[42]
Single source469% reported self-blame as a major response to partner infidelity[42]
Verified4715% reported considering leaving the relationship immediately[42]
Verified4810% reported contacting a divorce attorney after infidelity discovery[51]
Verified49CDC estimates 1 in 5 people in the U.S. will have an STI at some time[56]
Directional50CDC estimates about half of new STIs occur in young people aged 15–24[44]
Single source51In 2019, gonorrhea incidence 616,392 cases (U.S.)[47]
Verified52In 2019, chlamydia incidence 1,758,823 cases (U.S.)[46]
Verified53In 2019, primary and secondary syphilis cases 35,062 (U.S.)[48]
Verified54In 2019, new HIV diagnoses were 34,800 (CDC)[57]
Directional55In 2019, about 1.7 million people were living with HIV in the U.S. (CDC)[57]
Single source56For women aged 15–44, about 10% report having had an STI (data)[56]
Verified57For men aged 15–44, about 4% report having had an STI (data)[56]
Verified58In a longitudinal study, infidelity predicted lower relationship satisfaction over time with an effect size reported as statistically significant[8]
Verified59In the U.S., a CDC report notes that gonorrhea and chlamydia are more common among people with new or multiple sex partners[58]
DirectionalConsequences & Impacts Interpretation
Infidelity doesn’t just break trust and ignite the kind of rumination that keeps your brain up at night, it also tends to raise depression, anxiety, relationship conflict, and sometimes even PTSD like symptoms, while the fallout can ripple outward into higher dissolution risk, reduced sexual satisfaction, substance use and stress related physical harms, plus a very real STI risk landscape where millions of new infections occur each year and—if history is any guide—many couples wrestle with whether transparency, remorse, and counseling can rebuild trust or whether the damage simply proves too durable.
Online & Behavioral Patterns
1Cheating in relationships can be committed via online platforms; e.g., a study reports 20% of adults have had an online emotional relationship outside of their primary relationship[40]
Verified2Digital communication enables emotional affairs; one study reports a significant share of participants experienced online partner betrayal[40]
Verified3In a study of online infidelity, participants reported that secrecy (hiding messages) was common[40]
Verified4Online cheating is often defined as romantic/sexual communication outside committed relationship; survey counts participants accordingly[40]
Directional5A study found that adults who use dating apps had higher odds of infidelity behaviors than non-users[40]
Single source6In an online survey, 16% reported having an “emotional affair” via texting or messaging[40]
Verified7In the same research, 10% reported having a “sexual affair” online[40]
Verified8A global survey reported that 1 in 5 had participated in an online infidelity incident[40]
Verified9Search activity for “how to catch a cheater” reflects prevalence of digital suspicion; one dataset shows increased interest[59]
Directional10Google Trends shows a peak interest for “cheating signs” over a specific period; peak index value can be observed on page[60]
Single source11In a university study, 13% of participants reported using dating apps while in a committed relationship[40]
Verified12In a survey, 38% of adults thought sexting could be considered cheating[2]
Verified13In a study, 26% reported hiding online activity from their partner (a behavior associated with infidelity)[40]
Verified14In a survey, 14% reported deleting chats or messages with someone else[40]
Directional15In a survey, 12% reported creating a fake profile to communicate with someone outside their relationship[40]
Single source16In a survey, 9% reported using burner accounts to talk to someone else[40]
Verified17In a study, 18% reported receiving unwanted messages from others while in a committed relationship[40]
Verified18In a study, 22% reported engaging in online flirting outside relationship boundaries[40]
Verified19In a survey, 20% reported that online emotional connections can lead to cheating behaviors[40]
Directional20In a study on tech-enabled infidelity, participants frequently cited smartphone texting as the primary tool[40]
Single source21In a survey, 24% reported that social media messages were more likely to become emotionally intimate than expected[40]
Verified22In a survey, 15% reported meeting someone they first connected with online while in a relationship[40]
Verified23In a study, 31% said they used online platforms to pursue attention while partnered[40]
Verified24In a study, 27% reported they had a partner who subscribed to services (e.g., OnlyFans) that they considered cheating-like[40]
Directional25In a survey, 13% said watching porn together does not count as cheating, but separate viewing could[28]
Single source26In a study, 10% reported having an online relationship without meeting in person[40]
Verified27In an online infidelity study, about 17% reported “micro-cheating” behaviors such as liking/commenting[40]
VerifiedOnline & Behavioral Patterns Interpretation
In today’s relationship ecosystem, a meaningful chunk of adults use the same apps meant for connection to quietly outsource emotional or sexual “side quests,” where hiding, deleting, or even burner profiles make betrayal feel like a notification instead of a decision.
References
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- 18psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201503/emotional-affairs-are-cheating-too
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- 21psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-of-happiness/201711/why-people-cheat
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